30 October 2003

sexuality check

am i a boy/male or a girl/female?

have a check...

28 October 2003

27 October 2003


dengan malu hati, hari ini saya mengakui bahwa saya addicted kepada benda itu..

empat tahun sudah saya tidak bisa mengelak untuk tidak menggunakannya..

pagi-pagi saat jam kerja baru mulai, saya pakai itu dahulu

ndak pakai itu, otakku jadi keram

saya kira saya bisa hentikan kebiasaan itu setelah sekian hari ndak pakai, tapi pagi ini pun terjadi lagi...

piye iki?...

23 October 2003

wrap up minggu kemarin

wrap up minggu kemarin

spent the weekend dengan rute jalan bogor-pancoran-cinere-tangerang-bogor-sukabumi-cianjur-bandung-purwakarta-rawasari-bogor... entah berapa kilometer totalnya.. jalan ke sukabumi disapa macet di cicurug, dan puncaknya malem minggu di bandung malah ditemenin hujan yg gak mau pergi...

dari bandung ke purwakarta lewat jalan tol baru.. dari purwakarta ke jkt lewat pintu tol baru pula... i bet saat jalan tol baru itu selesai (ci-pu-larang?), weekend bakal asoy dijalanin bolak balik jkt-bdg.. (terus macet yg biasanya ada di padalarang bakal pindah kemana?)

btw, banyak yg nyasar ke blog nggak jelas ini buat nyari lirik lagu band cokelat.. padahal coklat ndak ada disini.. mungkin adanya disana...


if i can meet God, what question would i ask Him?

20 October 2003

a young man learns

a young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door.

it had been some time since jack had seen the old man. college, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. in fact, jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams.

there, in the rush of his busy life, jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. he was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

over the phone, his mother told him, "mr. belser died last night. the funeral is wednesday."

memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"jack, did you hear me?"

"oh, sorry, mom. yes, i heard you. it's been so long since i thought of him. i'm sorry, but i honestly thought he died years ago," jack said.

"well, he didn't! forget you. every time i saw him he'd ask how you were doing. he'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," mom told him.

"i loved that old house he lived in," jack said.

"you know, jack, after your father died, mr. belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"he's the one who taught me carpentry," he said.
"i wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. he spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...mom, i'll be there for the funeral," jack said.

as busy as he was, he kept his word. jack caught the next flight to his hometown. mr. belser's funeral was small and uneventful. he had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

the night before he had to return home, jack and his mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

standing in the door! way, jack paused for a moment. it was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. the house was exactly as he remembered. every step held memories. every picture, every piece of furniture....jack stopped suddenly.

"what's wrong, jack?" his mom asked.

"the box is gone," he said.

"what box? " mom asked.

"there was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. i must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. all he'd ever tell me was 'the thing i value most,'" jack said.

it was gone. everything about the house was exactly how jack remembered it, except for the box.he figured someone from the belser family had taken it.

"now i'll never know what was so valuable to him,"
jack said. "i better get some sleep. i have an early flight home, mom."

it had been about two weeks since mr. belser died.returning home from work one day jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "signature required on a package. no one at home. please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

early the next day jack retrieved the package. the small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. the handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.

"mr. harold belser" it read.

jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. there inside was the gold box and an envelope. jack's hands shook as he read the note inside. "upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to jack bennett. it's the thing i valued most in my life."

a small key was taped to the letter. his heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, jack carefully unlocked the box. there inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.

inside he found these words engraved: "jack, thanks for your time! harold belser."

"the thing he valued most...was...my time."

jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days.

"why?" janet, his assistant asked.
"i need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"oh, by the way, janet...thanks for your time!"

"life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

think about this. you may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. at least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. at least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. the only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. a smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. you mean the world to someone.

7. if not for you, someone may not be living.

8. you are special and unique.

9. when you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you trust god to do what's best, and wait on his time, probably, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.

10. when you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.

11. when you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.

13. always remember the compliments you received. forget about the rude remarks.

14. always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy.

15. if you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

15 October 2003


ada melon tumbuh liar di halaman

dari mana datangnya?

13 October 2003

hua.. another monday

somewhere between the second and the third job i did this morning, i miss my home

as always, monday is never my favourite...

09 October 2003

gigantic holodeck

from new scientist :

perplexing observations beamed back by a nasa spacecraft are fuelling debates about a mystery of biblical proportions - is our universe infinite? scientists have announced tantalising hints that the universe is actually relatively small, with a hall-of-mirrors illusion tricking us into thinking that space stretches on forever.

so maybe its a gigantic holodeck after all... the universe, i mean.. :)


all in all, this week i spent total of 8 working hours di klien for doing a supposed to be simple setup but turned out to be headache... the task is to move one active database for client pricing analysis apps dari ms-access ke informix.. empat jam pertama berkutat di setting up detail koneksi di informix client yang ada di web server.. which tetep leads to no connection succesfull di asp (kalo dari dari informix stand-alone client sih bisa... kenapa coba? :P).. diakalin pake table-link ke informix di dalam ms-access dan nggak jalan juga...

3 jam berikutnya dijalani dengan mengerjakan exact same things di web server testing... dan it works... so 1 jam berikutnya dijalanin dengan bengang bengong di depan web server production being clueless of not knowing mesti diapain lagi itu server..

padahal web server testing cuma satu laptop enteng kecil murah meriah etc etc, sementara web server production itu web server segede kulkas dan runningnya diatas hp/ux yang belinya bisa buat ngegaji orang sekampung...

kalo ini lagi dalem mimpi, udah gue sepak itu server kacrut.. hehe...

keputusann akhirnya, oprekan di web server development akan dilanjutkan lagi setelah servernya nanti akan coba di-restart (ah windows, how adorable...)

08 October 2003


baca-baca blog ita dan killy, penasaran juga sama apa yang namanya orbs..

dan waktu di millenia kemarin, dan tanya-tanya dan coba mengikuti petunjuk ita buat njepret sudut-sudut yang kalo pake kameranya ada bulatan-bulatan putih tipis keliatan..

but alas... dicoba sekian kali dan no orbs atawa buletan putih muncul whatsoever...

kenapa juga?

dari websitenya fuji, ini penjelasannya soal bulatan putih itu..

so my camdig can not capture the same dusts camdignya ita tangkep?

beda karena lensanya.. atau flashnya?..


05 October 2003

nini masih sakit

menjenguk nini lagi di rumah sakit..

ternyata akibat suhu tubuh nini smepet naik ke 40 derajat celcius, nini jadi rada-rada amnesia gitu.. lupa sama detail keluarga... pas bi hunhun nanya 'ini siapa, mak?' ke nini sambil nunjuk si neng, nini cuma ngejawab 'tetangga'.. sekeluarga cuma nahan sedih sekaligus nahan supaya nggak ketawa cekikikan liat wajah neng yang rada gondok.. hehe...

gue masih mikir semua ini lucu sampe liat wajah nini yang keliatan kesel saat nggak khatam khatam mengingat kembali nama anak-anaknya... "lukman... hunhun... djenah.. errr..."

"ani, mak... aniiiiiiii..." bantu bi hunhun ke nini..

nini pun mengulang lagi hapalannya... "lukman... hunhun... ".. dan tersendat lagi hapalannya..

kalo dah gini berasa nyesel nggak banyak berinteraksi sama nini pas nini lagi sehat... kalo dah sakit begini, gimana bisa ngobrol panjang lebar?...


gue pernah denger bahwa tuhan bilang bahwa di dunia ini tuhan nggak bermaksud ngasih penderitaan, yg bikin penderitaan adalah manusia itu sendiri..

somehow between bengong liat nini dan idlenya kepala, it suddenly make sense.. manusia dikasih banyak pilihan oleh tuhan untuk do whatever they want... dan apapun yang dikerjakan oleh satu manusia akan mempunyai efek terhadap manusia lainnya (sejalan dengan event horizon si manusia tersebut kepada lingkungannya).. hal kecil yang dikerjakan may leads to one misery onto someone else in the future...

make sense, no?

02 October 2003

nini sakit

kemarin saat pulang kantor dan tiba di parkiran, langsung terima kabar dari tetangga kalo nini (nenek dari neng) makin parah sakitnya dan mesti dibawa ke rumah sakit.. pintu garasi yang udah gue buka pun gue tutup lagi dan langsung cabut ke rumah sakit

sampe di rumah sakit, nini masih di ugd sementara bi fat ngurus-ngurus kamar mana buat nini tempatin.. yg gue rasain saat masuk ke ruang ugd awalnya biasa aja (i already healed from the anger of having some pills for killing my migraine thru my butt there some month ago... long story... story for which terlalu jijay bajay buat diceritain.. hehe.. my ass is no longer virgin.. gosh.. hehe)... biasa aja liat suasananya.. semua sama kayak dulu.. tapi pas liat bi dedeh matanya merah di samping nini.. learning that nini udah nggak bisa communicate ke sapa-sapa, it all went south from there... :( gue cuma bisa diem sambil liat kiri kanan make sure bahwa nggak ada masalah buat bi fat masukin nini ke rumah sakit..

dan gue just fine sampe saat dimana nini udah dibawa masuk ke ruangan, dan beberapa yang nganter baca surah yasin pelan-pelan... my heart sunk.. sedih...